I ate whipping cream out of a Student Union employees ass last night. I supposed to be working the event, taking pictures of a performer, and the audience. I instead I fell asleep in the heavy arms of a 200 lbs Chinese hypnotist named Tony Lee. For anyone who was in attendance on last Tuesday night you’ll now that I was one of the two photographers supposedly working the event. What you didn’t know is that I take a hypnotic sleep aid called Zoplicone.
I sleep soundly, and a gave Pepsi bottle head that had been lodged between a strangers legs. These acts of perversion are rarity for me, and the power public hypnotism is real. I found I was moderately aware of what I was doing. Knowing that you are on stage and a crowd is screaming to see generally calm people do outrageous things will control you.
What is specifically powerful about the hypnotism side of things was emotional. At times I felt profound, and unintentional emotions. Emotions and temperature were developed and sincere.
One of Tony Lee’s first entrances into Tuesday’s spell was inducing a public yawn. He told the group on stage, which at this point I wasn’t a part of, to yawn. Within moments at least 100 people in the audience were yawning. Contagious yawns are public and a very real studied phenomenon, using that to enter the public to belief into what Tony was doing was calculating and effective.
While I began to remember mooning the audience bare assed and easily because I didn’t have underwear on; memories of the entry into my trance began to come clear. I was standing in front of the hypnotist taking pictures of unconscious on lookers being trapped in a daze. As Tony counted the group down, “Deeper and deeper, way down now into a deep… deep…. sleep,” I began to yawn, my eyes became heavy, and while I was supposed to be working, I was standing swaying with my camera in my hands. My boss was able to take my camera from around my neck before I fell over, even though I was carefully guided by Tony himself.
I raced a car last night, I also hand my hands down my pants, and had a guest co-host Steven Sills spray whipping cream into my ass crack. Thanks Steve.
Whether or not you believe in hypnotism or not seeing coworkers and peers dry, hump each other while screaming about losing the genitals in the bathroom is worth $5 and two and a half hours of your time.
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